Encouraged?

Tribulations cannot cease until God either sees us remade or sees that our remaking is now hopeless.

~C.S. Lewis

Great. Either way, I'm doomed.

Wonderful, Fun, Thoughtful, Happy, I-Love-It Birthday

Presents from my kids...

Pyramid of Mountain Dew, oil diffuser, bags of M&Ms, bouquet of flowers, cranberry/lavender candle, shrimp curry with homemade naan, more Mountain Dew, Cheetos, hand-carved Viking, fish erasers, Mountain Dew earrings, homemade ice-cream, a gazillion cards and greetings, personal-size chocolate cheesecake, hand-drawn caricature

I love my students.

The Joys Of Being An Awesome Biology Teacher

My first birthday present this year? A box of sour cream crickets and cheddar cheese worms. Yes, they are real. Yes, I was expected to eat them. Did I?

Of course!!! Light, crispy and delicious...even if a leg did get stuck in my throat.

Giving Up My "Best Friend"

The real way of mending a man's taste is not to denigrate his favourites but to teach him how to enjoy something better.

~C.S. Lewis

So long Mountain Dew, best friend of my youth. You've seen me through a lot. I'm gonna try to let you go. It's been almost two weeks since we parted ways. The ache is beginning to recede.

Hello Pink Lady. Please don't develop any strong feelings of attachment to me. You are only a stepping stone to...

Water! I do not enjoy you but I am going to give you a chance. I've heard you might be good for me. Time will tell.

My Perfect Weekend Date

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;

you formed me in my mother's womb.

I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!

Body and soul, I am marvelously made!

I worship in adoration—what a creation!

You know me inside and out,

you know every bone in my body;

You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,

how I was sculpted from nothing into something.

Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;

all the stages of my life were spread out before you,

The days of my life all prepared

before I'd even lived one day.

Your thoughts—how rare, how beautiful!

God, I'll never comprehend them!

I couldn't even begin to count them—

any more than I could count the sand of the sea.

Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you!

Almost Spring

It's just around the corner...the first day of spring...a time of new growth, fresh starts, healthy shoots, soft buds, renewal, life, baby eyes, innocence...

Here are some of my favorite things:

Give me back the joy of your salvation; let a free spirit be my support.

~Psalm 51:12

Being Different

She kept asking if the stories were true. I kept asking her if it mattered. We finally gave up. She was looking for a place to stand & I wanted a place to fly.

©StoryPeople

Dreamin' of Home

Mackinac Bridge

Lilac Festival - Mackinac Island

Clyde's Drive-In (Manistique)

Kitchitikipi

Fayette Ghost Town

Whitefish Point

Tahquamenon Falls

Seney National Wildlife Refuge

Fox River

Brook Trout

"Nearly 80 years ago young Ernest Hemingway went trout fishing on a remote Michigan river. The fishing was good, the inspiration priceless: From that trip flowed the classic short story titled 'Big Two-Hearted River.' His story actually describes the Fox, which remains, as Hemingway called it, 'the good place.'"

—From "Hemingway's Many Hearted Fox River," June 1997, National Geographic magazine

Lake Superior

Sable Falls

Favorite place of all...

South Manistique Lake from the front yard of my parents' house

A Simple Trip to the Store

What began as a simple stop at Fred Meyer to pick up an iPod shuffle for Mom

ended with a spider biting me on my foot when I walked through the garden section

and resulted in me hugging the toilet for the next 12 hours.

I hate spiders.

Picking Up My Paintbrush

JP had yesterday off and requested I not make any plans so we could spend the evening together. He cleaned the house (even swept and vacuumed), put away all the dishes, started the dishwasher and made curry lentil soup -- one of my favorites. It looked and smelled so nice when I walked through the door. He was waiting impatiently for me and as soon as I dropped my school stuff we headed for Big Lots. It was kinda funny. We loaded a handbasket with small items then decided we didn't need any of it, so we left without buying anything. Next we went to Jo-Ann Fabrics - he said he wanted to paint, but he had an ulterior motive - which was to find a project for me. He decided he wanted a copy of Monet's Poppy Field at Argenteuil painted for the wall in his computer room. We bought a 30" x 40" canvas, I picked up a few new paintbrushes of varying sizes and stiffness and we drove to the dorm so I could pick up my paints from storage. I haven't painted in ages. I don't know how this will go. I have to be in the mood so we'll see. Right now my easel is set up in a corner of the dining room but it takes up a lot of space so I may need to start converting the extra bedroom into my art space - if this bug really bites. Here's the actual version:

I'll post pictures of my version as it progresses. Right now I just have faint tracings to give perspective before I start putting down base paint. We shall see. Monet was an Impressionist which means I have freedom to paint my impression, right?

Thoughts

Yesterday when I was testing the absorbency level of WA mom's shirt, she was trying to listen and trying to honor my request to not speak certain thoughts. I could tell this was taking a great deal of self-discipline on her part. Every fiber of her being wanted to refute what I was saying. She managed to do quite well although she did slip in one thing (and a half) before I cut her off. She said, "As much as anyone loves you, the Lord loves you more. It doesn't matter what you feel, this is true." The next words, that I so politely ended, I think were going to suggest I read, recite and remind myself of God's promises even if I don't believe them or they aren't ringing true. I told her no before she could finish but even as she said it I was thinking of the verse in Romans that tells us the words were written for our learning, so that through the comfort of the Scriptures we might have hope. It actually says "through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures..." I think I'll have to study that a little bit to figure out what it means...that is, when I decide to study anything again. So, anyway, that's something that is rattling around in my head.

I don't remember where I read it, but somewhere I ran across tips for getting through tough days. They included -- keep lists, cry, laugh, pray. My list looked like this:

1. Get up

2. Brush teeth

3. Change underwear

4. Cry

5. Brush hair if absolutely necessary

6. Pray for the day to end

7. Nap

8. Get up

9. Drink Mountain Dew

10. Cry

11. Nap

12. Cry

13. Get up

14. Tell mom work was fine when she calls (even if I didn't go to work)

15. Cry

16. Drink Mountain Dew; eat popcorn if someone else makes it

17. Pray for the day to end

18. Turn off phone at 8 p.m.

19. Take off clothes; throw in a pile

20. Go to bed

The only thing missing from my list was laughter. They say when you can laugh, you know you'll survive. Well, yesterday I had laughter - even if it was dark humor. I'm not going to write what struck me as funny - but I returned to it several times throughout the evening and each time it made me smile. Humans are dumb sometimes. Our logic is faulty.

So those are my rambling thoughts. No conclusions. No tidy wrap-ups. Still angry. Still have a lot of unspoken, unexpressed feelings but today I'm at work so it wouldn't really behoove me to nap and cry all day. The kids might think I've lost my mind. BTW, I love the word behoove.

Happy Dance

It’s Friday!

Possibilities and Heart Wishes

-OR-

I don't have a lot to write about at the moment -- well, that's not true. I have a LOT to write about but not enough clarity to write anything that is coherent. I'm reminded of a blog I posted last June:

Let Me prepare you for the life that stretches out before you. I know exactly what it will contain, whereas you have only vague ideas about it. You would like to see a map, showing all the twists and turns of your journey. You'd feel more prepared if you could somehow visualize what is on the road ahead. However, there is a better way to be prepared for whatever you will encounter: Spend quality time with Me.

I do want to know what's ahead of me. I want to know exactly so I can begin to prepare. I want a map that shows where I'm going with a big X that marks the spot. I also want the following verse to mean exactly what it says without exception...today.

If you remain in me and My words remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you.

~John 15:7

In the meantime, I guess I'll try to wait patiently and see how everything plays out.