A Sliver of the Sums

"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the Lord. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine."
~Isaiah 55:8

But the Lord's plans stand firm forever; His intentions can never be shaken.
~Psalm 33:11

O Lord my God, you have performed many wonders for us. Your plans for us are too numerous to list.  You have no equal.  If I tried to recite all your wonderful deeds I would never come to the end of them.  ~Psalm 40:5

The Lord of hosts has said, "As I have planned, so shall it be, and as I have purposed, so shall it stand."  ~Isaiah 14:24

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A white stallion rode into the paddocks of an old man and all the villagers congratulated him on such good fortune.

And the old man only offered this: “Is it a curse or a blessing? All we can see is a sliver. Who can see what will come next?”

When the white horse ran off, the townsfolk were convinced the white stallion had been a curse. The old man lived surrendered and satisfied in the will of God alone:  “I cannot see as He sees.”

And when the horse returned with a dozen more horses, the townsfolk declared it a blessing, yet the old man said only, “It is as He wills and I give thanks for His will.”

Then the man’s only son broke his leg when thrown from the white stallion. The town folk all bemoaned the bad fortune of that white stallion. And the old man had only offered, “We’ll see. We’ll see. It is as He wills and I give thanks for His will.”

When a draft for a war took all the young men off to battle but the son with the broken leg, the villagers all proclaimed the good fortune of that white horse. And the old man said but this, “We see only a sliver of the sum. We cannot see how the bad might be good. God is sovereign and He is good and He sees and work all things together for good.”

(A version of a story told by Max Lucado)

2011 and 2012

Well, my favorite secretary/Bible teacher finally posted the news about her son's arrival, so now I can post a little more info! I was waiting for her so I didn't steal any thunder, except for a little sneak peek of Auntie's newest arrival. He was born Saturday, May 26 at 2:33 a.m. and weighed in at 6 lbs. 14 oz, measuring 19.5 inches long. I went through the pictures of his sister from just 14 months ago and it was fun to look at then and now, so here are my babies (so kindly shared with me by their parents!) I'm fortunate to be Auntie to two such special kiddos.

Madelyn Joy (March 2011)

Theodore Joseph (May 2012)

Sissy meets brother (May 2012)

Proud Parents (MJ - left; TJ - right)

Happy Family (May 2012)

Love you guys!

Memorial Day Weeding

Here are some before and after pictures. I think we filled 14+ bags with yard waste and we aren't even half done. It was a terrible horrible awful day.

Picnic Pointe Park

Went exploring with Miho tonight. I love the gloaming hours.

So Interesting!

These words were spoken to me in a dream I had last night and I want to write them while I remember. "Heather, child, you are a girl of change. You are a dove of the winter season and a lion of the summer. Be who you are, lioness."

Whoa! Where did that come from? What could I possibly have been processing for those words to stick with me when I woke up this morning? Very strange. Can't wait to tell my mom.

Introducing...

arrived at 2:33 this morning, exactly on his due date

Blurry...but first smile for Auntie

(only 11 hours old, wow, thanks kiddo)

Welcome to our world Baby Boy.

I love you!

Touch Recognition

If You touched my face would I know You
Looked into my eyes could I behold You

What do I know of You
Who spoke me into motion
Where have I even stood
But the shore along Your ocean
Are You fire, are You fury
Are You sacred, are You beautiful
What do I know, what do I know of Holy
~by Addison Road


In Numbers God says it is His custom to speak to prophets through visions and dreams. Moses was the exception. With Moses, God spoke "face to face, clearly and not in riddles." Moses was faithful. God called him friend. Moses knew God. He could behold the Lord. He recognized His touch and had an understanding of holiness. I want some of that in this lifetime. The craving in me is strong. It is like the sea lion from John Eldredge's book, "The Journey of Desire."

There once was a sea lion who had lost the sea.

He lived in a dry and dusty land where there were only a few trees. Sometimes the wind came and blew the dust through the clumps of grass. It was a miserable land, far from any ocean and far from any sea.

No one could remember how the sea lion ever came to live in the desert lands. It almost seemed as if he’d always been there, as if he belonged there. But he was, after all, a sea lion, and sea lions were made for the sea. You may wonder how such an animal could ever end up in an arid place like the desert lands and how he could survive for so long. But remember that once you’ve lived long enough somewhere, anywhere can feel like home.

...

If you had traveled through the desert lands in those days, you would have seen the sea lion for yourself. In the evenings he would climb up on a large flat rock that overlooked the entire area. He loved to get up off the dry, dusty soil and breathe in the sweet cool breezes that passed him by. Sometimes, from the east, he was sure he caught a faint whiff of salty air. And there on that rock the sea lion would rest for hours and hours. He would dream of an expanse of water as far as the eye could see — cool, refreshing and inviting. And in his dream he would plunge into the breakers and dive down into the deep blue waters below. When he awoke, he thought he could hear the sound of the roaring waves. The sea was calling him.

I want to know God. I want to see clearly. I want to understand His holiness. I want to recognize His touch. I don't want to look through a mirror dimly. The sea is calling me. Why is it so hard to respond?

Alive

He taught me to run, elbows in, fists pumping, legs stretching. I will always remember these words: "Run proud & remember you are alive."  (~StoryPeople)

Thankful for girls and sunshine and small things like marshmallows.

I'm alive.

Crazy?

Fair warning...you are entering crazy woman territory. That's where I've been the past month or so if you've been looking for me. This knee injury, recovery, missed time off work, adjustment period, dealing with people stuff has tested my coping skills in a major way. I can't say I've handled it all with grace and finesse. I've discovered that my body does not heal well after being cut open. Some people get gentle white lines as reminders of their trauma. Not me, I get jagged purple gashes permanently etched in the fabric of my skin. The kind that make people wonder, "What happened to her?" I think it's fitting. Those gashes are a visual symbol of how I'm healing on the inside. Untidy and ugly. 

I feel like people are pulling at me from all sides, expecting things from me that are impossible. Treating me in ways they wouldn't stand for but pulling the "Christian" card and insinuating I am being self-centered by opposing their will. Unkind, unthoughtful, conscious only of their own comfort. That woman above? Yeah, that's how I feel. Go ahead. Do it again. I'm ready. Crazy woman is in town.

I have so many things to do, so many people to please, so little time, so little help, so little understanding that I am quickly on my way to losing my mind. If you find me one night, wandering the streets, speaking to the stars through my planetary headgear, you'll know I've lost it. And you'll have an inkling why.

Mother's Day

Seattle-ites soaking up the sun

The natives also soaking up the sun

 Beautiful

"White Way of Delight" as Anne would say

I love water...have I mentioned that?

 My first dip in freshwater - 2012

Barefoot in the grass - at last!

Whether you love by birth or you love by heart...there's always someone to "Mother"

Gifts from Yesterday

Miho and her smoothie

(So nice to have her here)

My favorite flower

(Thank you, God, for reminders of home)

Fly Straight

"A saint’s life is in the hands of God like a bow and arrow in the hands of an archer. God is aiming at something the saint cannot see, but our Lord continues to stretch and strain, and every once in a while the saint says, “I can’t take any more.” Yet God pays no attention; He goes on stretching until His purpose is in sight, and then He lets the arrow fly."

-Oswald Chambers

Captivated

Turn on your volume and push the play button below.

When I look into the mountains

I see Your fame
When I look into the night's sky
It sparkles Your name

The wind and the clouds and the blue in the sky
The sun and the moon and the stars so high
That's what draws me to You

I am, I'm captivated by You
In all that You do
I am, I'm captivated

When I wake unto the morning
It gives me Your sight
When I look across the ocean
It echoes Your might

The sand on the shore and the waves in the sea
The air in my lungs and the way You made me
That's what draws me to You

I am, I'm captivated by You
In all that You do
I am, I'm captivated

'Cause I am, I'm captivated by You
In all that You do
I am, I'm captivated

The wind and the clouds and the blue in the sky
The sun and the moon and the stars so high
The sand on the shore and the waves in the sea
The air in my lungs and the way You made me

The blood in my veins and my heart You invade
The plants how they grow and the tree and their shade
The way that I feel and love in my soul
I thank you my God for letting me, letting me know

I am, I'm captivated by You
In all that You do
I am, I'm captivated

'Cause I am, I'm captivated by You
In all that You do
I am, I'm captivated

©Shawn McDonald

Saturday with Doll-Girl

Fog, Hollows, Found

Somewhere a dog barked loud.

She looked across fields.

There's always something barking loud in you that you need a bigger field.

A better job, a bigger house, a greater life, a grander point.

There's always a part of you that wonders if anything you do matters enough.

And there's always someone who makes sure you know how much smarter and wiser, bigger and better, known and greater they are.

There's always someone who snatches the horn to sing too loud of their own tens of thousands.

She had to remember to tell herself that: The ones keeping tally in life just want to know they count.

Everyone wielding their own horn just wants to be held.

And Jesus, He stretched His arms out to the whole world.

Who wants the love of a Messiah more than the lauding of men?

She could do this: When the world strives - the wise still. It's the only way to feel God's embrace.

The whole world could compete to be heard and esteemed and known and get ahead. She didn't have to. She could breathe deep and feel all of her filling with this calm sea of peace.

You can give up the need to compete in the world - when you accept being complete in Christ.

Sometimes the way to win is to never enter the race.

She stood there listening to the frogs croaking, song filling all the spring sky.

She just stood there...

She needn't be heard...because she was known.

The fog settled down in the hollow, a veil hiding the woods away. Behind it somewhere the frogs sang on...

She was found.

 (from Ann Voskamp's "A Holy Experience," with pictures by Indie Grace)

Success!

We made these paints using egg yolks and pigments. The kids had soooooo much fun and feel very proud of themselves for being able to paint the frescos with a medium they created. Aaaahhh, these are days it's satisfying to be a teacher.